Uncontained

A powerful abstract image created in the moment with almost no forethought, Uncontained is pure emotion.

I had planned on drawing the image that I will describe next, Hiraeth, but as soon as I began to sketch the central circle this image appeared to me. Rather than ignore it and continue with my original thought, I decided to explore it.

After a full week with my extended family, this was what exploded out of me. Initially, I attributed it to an explosion of creativity. Up until this visit, I had been creating constantly, so it felt like my creative juices were backed-up.

As time has progressed, I have come to attribute this to my emotions. I have always felt out of step with family and have come to realize that I heavily repress my emotions around them. Largely because my emotions have almost always been met with severe judgment and dismissal in favor of their own feelings.

Uncontained was a signal that I was no longer capable and no longer wanted to keep my emotions bottled inside. It would be almost a year before I fully understood this, though within a couple months of this drawing I started taking steps to protect my mental health.

I describe my art as being deeply symbolic, because the more I reflect on a piece and more time passes, I begin to see my art in layers. I have my initial reaction, a more nuanced self interpretation, and then I begin to see my work through the eyes of others. (To some, this piece is a wonderfully abstract jellyfish.)

There was a time when I would have been offended or even shamed by others “misinterpreting” my work, but now I enjoy seeing what others see. My husband for example has made symbolic connections between my work and myself that I had not even made… more on that another time.